


Void

by Algae



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: F/M, Sailor Moon S
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3435767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Algae/pseuds/Algae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn’t feel it.</p>
<p>The bond with Usako had broken.  It had been there, in the recesses of his soul and then…</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Void

He couldn’t feel it.

The bond with Usako had broken. It had been there, in the recesses of his soul and then…

Nothing.

He felt empty.

Cold.

Missing.

And then it had come back. Softly, like a blanket being retucked around a sleeping child, he felt her presence within him.

And then she stepped out of the vortex, her eyes blank, holding an infant. He rushed to catch her as she swayed.

***

They were giddy with victory. The senshi were laughing and crying and hugging and bouncing.

He loved their friendship. He loved that there every emotion would spill forth and be shared with the others. He wondered if the girls had felt it, too.

It. He didn’t know what to call it. It wasn’t anything. It was just…nothing.

He didn’t think so. They weren’t acting like they had after Usako had died on that stupid asteroid. There had been a desperation to their hugs, then; a pressure. This had been hard-fought, hard-won, but there wasn’t that desperation that came from knowing she had died. 

He saw the moment Usako realized that the senshi didn’t realize what had happened. She lost a bit of the worry in the back of her eyes, looking, of all things, like a child that had snuck and had a candy bar when her mother had said no. He squeezed her tighter. He wouldn’t let go of her hand now. Not until he knew what she had gone through.

***

They were alone in his apartment, finally. 

The other girls had left after an hour of too much. Too much sound. Too much touch. Too much being there.

Chibi-Usa was asleep in his bed. She had her color back and looked like a healthy little girl again.

Usako. 

She was sitting on the couch, curled against the pillow, looking at the wall. He watched her for a moment. He noticed the blank look in her eyes and knew she wasn’t staring at the wall, but something else, that only she had seen. 

His heart twisted. He’d failed to protect her. Again.

He saw the moment she realized he was looking at her. A flicker in the back of her eyes, a movement of worry, quickly masked by a smile. 

“Hey,“ she chirped brightly. “Thanks for letting them come by for lunch. It helps...after...to be able to see them.”

“I’m always glad to have the girls over, “ he answered calmly. He moved to sit down next to her. 

“Mamo-chan?” She snuggled into him. “Let’s stay in tonight. We can watch a movie. Don’t...don’t make me go home.”

He squeezed her tightly. “Never.” He thought of the look in her eyes. “Never,” he repeated.

*****

Chibi-Usa had woken up during the movie. They’d ordered takeout. They managed to talk without really saying anything. Usagi had kept up a stream of good humor whenever anyone was looking at her. Those moments when she thought he was distracted, though…

She’d drift away and stare at nothing again.

And then Chibi-Usa would say something and she’d jerk and answer in kind. Chibi-Usa didn’t seem to notice that Usagi was acting strangely. She was preoccupied with demanding her movie, her choice of dinner, her favorite pajamas.

Mamoru noticed that Usagi gave in on each thing Chibi-Usa demanded with only a half-hearted protest. 

Eventually, Chibi-Usa was tucked in the bed in the spare room. Usagi had called her parents (telling them she was staying with Makoto) and was brushing her hair. He loved to watch her brush her hair, but tonight, he grabbed the brush and started pulling it through her tresses himself.

Stroke. Pull. Lift.

Stroke. Pull. Lift.

Stroke. Pull. Lift.

An oddly meditative action. He continued to brush Usagi’s hair, but he was watching her in the mirror. She was, again, just sitting, staring. “Usako?” he asked quietly.

She jumped. “Hai! I mean, Mamo-chan!” Sorry! I think I just got distracted.” She giggled. It was a bit too high-pitched to be real. “It just felt so good to have you brushing my hair.”

Mamoru met her eyes in the mirror. Her smile was brittle. “Usako,” he said softly, setting the brush down. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Her eyes widened. She turned and tried to back away, but on the narrow vanity bench, there wasn’t room to move. “I...I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine. We’re all fine. We all lived. Go team!” she rambled.

“I don’t think that’s quite true, Usako.”

She gulped. “What...what do you mean?”

He took a moment, eyes not leaving hers, while he thought about his next words. He grabbed her hands, engulfing the small fingers in his larger ones. “Usako. I...felt something...after you’d...folllowed Pharoah 90. I could feel you, until I couldn’t feel you.

“I always feel you. Your spirit is always next to me. It guides to me to you when you’re in trouble. It comforts me to know that your love is surrounding me. There’s been twice I haven’t felt it next to me. The first time was when you stopped the asteroid the Kisenian blossom had sent to destroy earth. All of the sudden, it disappeared and I could feel, nothing. Just emptiness.”

He took a deep breath. Usagi was biting her lips. “The second time happened today.” Her eyes widened. “Usako, what happened?” he pleaded. 

With a cry, she fell into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. He murmured soothing sounds into her hair as he sobbed. Softly, as if she were a child, he picked her up and carried her so they could sit together on the bed. They sat together for a few minutes, rocking as she cried. “It was awful, Mamo-chan,” she said. “I can’t talk about it. I don’t have words to talk about it.” She let out another noisy sob.

“Usako,” he said, quietly, his heart breaking again. “Oh, honey, I’m here. I’m here.” She just kept sobbing in his arms.

“I didn’t know what to do. I just had to go, you know?” She held him tighter. “Don’t be mad at me. I just had to help. I didn’t know what it would be like.” 

He squeezed her again. “I just had to help,” she repeated. “I couldn’t let her go in there alone. What good is having a super powered crystal if I can’t save someone?” Her voice twisted into bitterness.

“Hey,” Mamoru said sharply. “That’s not your problem. You have the crystal and you know when you need to use it. Don’t question that. I wouldn’t trust anyone else with it or trust anyone else to know when to use it.”

“But, Mamo-chan, “ she said, sadly. “It didn’t work. I didn’t save Saturn. We were in there and then she destroyed Pharaoh 90 and then she was an infant. I didn’t save her. I didn’t stop anyone. Hotaru is gone. She’s no longer the little girl that was Chibi-Usa’s friend. She’s…” her voice broke. “She’s gone.”

“No. She’s not.” His voice was sharp, trying to break through the despair he could hear in her voice. “She might not be Hotaru as she was last week, but she’s alive and waiting for friends to love her and help her grow.” Mamoru stroked her face, clearing the tears that streamed down Usagi’s face. “And, thanks to you, she will have friends. You never forget a friend and you do better than anyone else at making sure we know we’re loved.

“You did save the world, Usako, you saved Uranus and Neptune, and you will save Hotaru. She won’t be alone, not with you looking out for her. Her life will be different, but it will be her life with choices she can make.”

Her eyes started to sparkle as she looked up at him. He was relieved to see the sparkle there. She was coming back to him.

She wouldn’t be alone again, he promised himself. He would protect her, even with his meek powers. He wouldn’t allow her to feel the burden of the world on her slim shoulders.

He would stand between her and the void.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a piece I've had rattling around in my head. It's not much.
> 
> Disclaimer: Sailor Moon doesn't belong to me.


End file.
